Uri Avnery
/ 06.04.02
Tom, Dick and Harry
The three most brilliant
speechwriters of George Bush prepared last Thursday’s speech of the
President. Let’s call them Tom, Dick and Harry.
Tom’s job was to make certain
that the speech would not offend the pro-Israel lobby (both the Jewish
and
even more important the Christian-fundamentalist). Dick
saw to it that the speech would conform to the President’s style and
intellectual heights, attained mostly from Westerns. Harry came from the
State Department and was charged with safeguarding the interests of the
United States, which, after all, must also find some place in a
presidential speech.
“The President must intervene,”
Harry said. “This business starts to become dangerous for us!”
“Terrorists! All terrorists must
be rooted out!” Dick cried.
“The Arab governments are in
panic!” Harry reported. “You can’t imagine. Stormy demonstrations all
over the place. They could easily get out of control. The President must
stop Sharon before this happens.”
“Don’t exaggerate,” Tom pleaded.
“It’s not really serious. All these Arab rulers live on our handouts.
The money is much more important to them than what’s happening to the
Palestinians. They know that one little hint from the Christian-Jewish
lobby will be enough for Congress to take all the billions away.”
“Everyone who is not with us is a
terrorist!” Dick cried. “Terrorists must be rooted out! They kill the
future!”
“When the Arab masses are roused,
it’s no laughing matter,” Harry pleaded. “If the fundamentalists topple
the government in one Arab country, say Jordan, all the good guys in the
Arab world will fall, one after the other, like domino pieces. Nice
words are not enough anymore. Sharon must be told to stop.”
“O.K.,” Tom sighed. “But he must
be given another few days. A week or two.”
“That can be arranged,” Harry
agreed. Let’s say: The President sends Powell to the Middle East, and in
the meantime Sharon can go on. Powell will not go immediately, he has to
pack his things. The general is very pedantic and the packing will take
a week. On the way he has to make courtesy calls on his friends, another
week. In the meantime Sharon can go on with the Palestinians as his
heart desires.”
“So we are agreed,” Tom
summarized. “The President will call for an end to the incursions, but
will not say ‘immediately’ or ‘now’. That will give Sharon all the time
he needs, and our folks will be satisfied.”
“But we must make sure he does
not kill Arafat!” Harry remembered. “That would be terrible It could
incite a general uprising throughout the Middle East!”
“Terrorist!” Dick cried. “Arafat
is a terrorist! He has chosen the way of terrorism! He has betrayed the
future of the Palestinian people! He…”
“We have a problem,” Tom
interrupted. “Sharon is eager to kill Arafat. He wants to settle a
personal account. His general, what’s his name, Mofaz, wants to ‘throw
him out’ straight to Paradise.”
“My God,” Harry groaned, “that
would cause a disaster! Our embassies will be bombed all over the world.
No airplane will be safe in the skies.”
“Perhaps it can be handled,” Tom
pondered aloud, “We will send Zinni to meet with Arafat. Afterwards
there will be an incident, the Israeli will try to arrest the ‘wanted’
people in Arafat’s office, shots will be fired, Arafat will be killed
accidentally. Nobody will be able to blame us.”
“Perhaps,” Harry was doubtful.
“But the reaction could be violent and push oil prices up. That would be
disastrous to our economy, as well as to Europe’s and Japan’s. Our
people don’t give a damn about dead people in the Middle East,
but five dollars more for a gallon could kill Bush at the next
elections.”
“Terrorism!” Dick interjected,
“Raising of oil prices is terrorism against the Free World!”
“The most important thing is that
the President won’t say a single good word about Arafat,” Tom urged. “He
must curse him. He must say that Arafat is to blame for everything,
including his own imprisonment. Not a single good word about Arafat!
Otherwise
christian and jewish groups will get very
angry.”
“O.K..” Harry agreed.
But in return, the President must spread a lot of schmaltz about Arab
dignity, the humiliation at the checkpoints, and how wonderful Prince
Abdullah is. That will get these tiresome Europeans to shut up. He must
speak about the Palestinian State and about freezing the settlements.”
“I have no problem with that,”
Tom agreed, “provided that he’ll speak about it as a vision for the
remote future. In the meantime Sharon will fill the country with
settlements and put an end to the
Palestinian leadership.”
Harry touched another subject.
“There is this Syrian business. CIA sources tell us that Sharon is
preparing a tremendous strike against them. He is watching
for the Hizbullah to provide a suitable provocation.”
“Good. The President will say
some hard, but not overly hard words about Syria. That will serve us as
an alibi if Sharon really attacks there.”
“Terrorists!” Dick contributed
his part. “All the Syrians are terrorists! The
al-Aksa guys, Hamas and the how-do-call-it organization! Everybody! All
the Arabs are terrorists!”
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